It’s all yours, Pal, are you ready for it?  

What’s that?

Marcos Duendes’ conviction just got reversed. Jonesy got the conviction last year, but the limp-wristed liberals on the court of appeals reversed it AND suppressed the confession too.  Jones is gone.  So YOU get to re-try this piece of shit but without Duendes’ confession to the police!

Why not someone with more experience?

Because shit slides down hill, dumbass! And YOU’re at the bottom of this shit hill.  Good luck trying this case without that confession!  All you got now is that dipshit accomplice for a witness who got Duendes the gun and dropped him off in the doctor’s neighborhood but then told so many lies to the cops and during the trial that no new jury is gonna believe him without the confession.  The AG’s Office just laughed at us when we asked if they were gonna petition the Arizona Supreme Court for review.  They said that we can do it, and by “we,” I mean YOU.  They’re done with this dog of a case.  Jones was lucky he got this confession past the trial judge, the AG’s Office said, but the appellate courts aren’t so dumb!  You better get that confession back, Buddy, and your clock’s already ticking. You’ve got 15 days to petition the Arizona Supreme Court for review, but Duendes has already filed his demand for a speedy trial.  So you gotta take this case to trial in sixty days unless you can get a stay. Maybe your buddies at the AG will help you write your brief.  But you better get this conviction on re-trial if you know what’s good for you.  The whole damned town knows that Duendes did it AND that he CONFESSED to shooting his wife’s obstetrician in the doorway of his own goddamned house.  Jesus Christ that was just a couple houses over from mine in OUR neighborhood.  You fuck this up, Esslinger, and your ass is mine!  Just LOOK at today’s headline . . .

“COURT OF APPEALS REVERSES CONVICTION OF MAN WHO CONFESSED SHOOTING WIFE’S DOCTOR!”

[Disclaimer: Events and people described may have been based on something that happened somewhere by someone, but mostly sprang from the writer’s own imagination. Names used are not the names of any real person and any similarities the reader might see between the fictional characters and any real person living or dead are entirely coincidental and only aberrations in the reader’s own imagination.]