Suzi Q

Do you have a sister like my Suzi Q? You do? I’ll pray for you!

You all remember my sister, Suzi Q, don’t you?

I’ve written about her before. ( Intervention, Part Two – The Happy Narcissist )

Anyway, here’s an actual conversation that took place just now . . .

Hey, Suzi Q!

Hey yourself, Marco Polo. What’s up?

I’m taking the next big step in launching my literary career.

What’s that?

I’m getting business cards made for The Happy Narcissist.

What for?

What do you mean “What for?”

What are you going to do with the business cards?

What do you mean “What are going to do with the business cards?” What do people do with business cards? I’m going to pass them out, of course.

To who?

To movers and shakers, to influential people who can advance my career, my literary prospects. What’d ya think?

Well, I guess I just didn’t know that you were thinking of advancing any career with your little blog. What are you seeking?

Worldwide acclaim, of course, what else? Why do you have to be so unenthusiastic about what I’m telling you?

I guess I just don’t see it happening.

Jesus Christ! Aren’t YOU a wet blanket. I’m not sure why I even called you just now. I should have called Joe. He thinks that I’m the most talented one of all our siblings. I’m gonna have to call him right after I get off the phone with you.

And get encouragement from our big brother? OK. What are your cards going to say?

On the front, it’ll say “The Happy Narcissist” in bold print and right under it in smaller print “Tis a tale told by an idiot” just like it says on the top of my blog page. On the back, it’ll say, “A Literary Phenomenon” and “” right below that.

Who said that you were a literary phenomenon? You?

Well, it’s literally true that I’m a literary phenomenon, for one thing. It’s not just bluster or braggadocio. AND it’s a subtle allusion to the line in the song that I still say Joan Baez wrote about me, “Diamonds and Rust,” where she sings of the song’s subject, “Well you burst on the scene already a legend, the unwashed phenomenon . . . ” I didn’t want to refer to myself as “unwashed,” so I changed it to “literary.” I kept the “phenomenon” part, of course.

What does Karen think?

What do you mean what does Karen think? I don’t know what Karen thinks. I don’t give my bride her opinions. Why would I care what Karen thinks about something like business cards? If you do, ask her yourself.

Well, it costs something to print business cards, doesn’t it?

Well of course it costs something to print business cards. They don’t design and print them for nothing. It’s a nominal amount. Sixty bucks for the design and to print 250, and after that it’ll just be the cost for printing, no longer any charge for the design that’s already done. It’s not like I’m buying advertising . . . yet.

Yet! I just never figured that you had plans for your little blog.

Well, what if I do? I can dream, can’t I? If I achieve worldwide acclaim before Jesus or the Grim Reaper come to get me, fine. If not, also fine. I won’t care.

Well, that’s a good attitude, I guess.

Thank you.

You’re welcome.

You know that I’m gonna write about this, don’t you?

I’m sure you are.

3 responses to “Suzi Q”

  1. . And do your OWN design, or pick from one of theirs…..

    1. Thank you, Joe. I already had the FedEx Office people make them up, and I’ve started handing them out to wildly enthusiastic acclaim. This is gonna be BIG, I think.

  2. I’m planning billboards as my next move sometime soon. NOBODY wants to hear me talk about my dreams and plans. This is the lonely life of an artist, I guess . . .

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